Dear Reader
If you've put up with my belly-aching over the past few days I have a ray of hope on which to write. Call it coincidence, call it nature at work, call it the Universe conspiring to help me through this...no matter what I find some improvement to report. My jaw is beginning to close in a normal position, and I'm regaining some sensation in my teeth that is not just pain but familiarity. It's hard to write about something so instinctual that we've all done since the day we grew teeth and opened and closed our mouths. Those Lego blocks I wrote about before. They are beginning to snap together. My shattered front teeth are still frightfully painful but I was able to take my elastics off, eat something soft, brush my teeth and then put them back on again. I had scrambled eggs and steamed some frozen veggie blend a bit longer than I otherwise might to make them softer. I cut them up into tiny chunks and was able to very slowly squish them between my teeth.
It is the night before my 48th birthday. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather not have any of this interfere with a age I'd just as soon forget about. But if I had to get any gift, the gift of feeling like my bite might actually be starting to fall back into place is a good gift.
The weather dropped from our staggering heat wave over night to an absolute frigid 16 degrees today. That's some place in the 60's for those who know Fahrenheit. The wind is blowing like crazy and it is like a fall day.
Fall is my most favorite time of the year and so this is also a good gift. I bought a big buttercup squash which I'm going to slow roast in the oven. One of my most favorite foods (other than chocolate and popcorn). A bit of butter and salt, I scoop it out of the skin and eat it just like that. This will be my "birthday cake". I'm going to bake an apple with brown sugar, spices, and oatmeal and have it with some yogurt for another treat. I think I can get it soft enough to eat. I'm not a big cake person. I like Pie and big chunky chocolate peanut butter cookies. But neither do I can to mash it up or put in a blender. That's just ruins a perfect food. So instead, I'll have other things I like.
There is still much to figure out. Like how to pay for all of this. But I have to focus on getting better.
Today I rode my stationary bike and watched the HBO film "Temple Grandin" which just one a truck load of Emmy Awards. If you have not watch it, get your hands on a copy. It is so inspiring! Temple Grandin is a woman living with Autism. She is a University Professor now (Animal Behavior Studies) yet at the age of 4 she was diagnose as never being able to speak. Of course, in those days, Autism was put in the same category as severe schizophrenia and institutionalizing patients was the usual practice. Amazing how archaic medicine was not very long ago really.
So I figure, if Temple Grandin can make it, I most certainly can.
I was an obese teenager, and when I when to University I was told I'd never set foot on professional stages as a performer. 25 years of work to my credit proves them wrong. There few lessons to learn in life when things are easy, smooth sailing, and always going our way. Where I sit right now, clearly I'll stand to learn a lot from this. How to trust, how to be resourceful, how to believe in the unbelievable.
Not a bad blog message on the night before....
