Oh dear readers, this is not going to be a good entry and I apologize in advance. If you need to read some good news, I invite you to head to another blog. Today was supposed to be something to look forward to, instead I am writing you wracked in agony. Today my wires were cut. My jaw flapped around like new born trying to stand up. I sort of knew that the feeling was going to be weird, but this is weird in a bad way. Firstly, my jaw is killing me. I hadn't had any pain since the wiring occurred, but now it feels like I just feel again. I have a throbbing head ache. My wires have been replace with two elastics. The arch bars are still on the top and bottom.
The good news is I can open my mouth about two fingers wide. The bad news is, I can't close my teeth together. My bite has completely shifted, and in a really bad way. My teeth don't come together where they used to. It's like they are all off by 1/2 tooth. This will leave me totally bankrupt. I can't imagine living like this, with this much pain.
For certain, as it stands, I can say goodbye to a 25 year career. This jaw and bite mechanism is to my career what the hand is to a pianist. I can now put pudding in my mouth and don't need to blend everything. Problem is, I'm so beside myself with anxiety and pain I don't have much of an appetite.
I never would have imagined this would happen to me. I never would have imagined that three days before my 48th birthday, life has thrown me something so difficult to deal with emotionally and physically. My parents are a mess over this. 1000 of miles away, feeling powerless to help. They're in their 80's, they don't need this.
I realize that people are dying of cancer today. Have lost loved ones today. Have lost houses today. Are stuck miles under the ground in a mine today. But that doesn't diminish my own little hell. I don't know how this will all play out.
If you pray, if you chant, what ever you do, keep me in mind. It's pity party time for this blogger.
